Sex educators recommend couples have short, periodic discussions of the status of their sexual relationship. In a NYTimes review of a book describing how to do that, I posted the following comment:
Having good lines of communication may seem superfluous when things are going well in a long-standing sexual relationship between a mutually monogamous couple. But life changes occur, and when they do, those habits of frank and open discussion may well be the difference between life and death for that relationship. Case in point…my wife and I, together 48 years, recently went through surgery for my prostate cancer. This results in, at best, a 1-2 year period when the nerves controlling key aspects of a man’s sexual functioning are disrupted and must re-grow. Worst case, it’s permanent. This “side” effect was a major factor we discussed prior to deciding on treatment, and requires on-going frankness as we are now 3 months into the journey.