!!!!!*****WORKING DRAFT*****!!!!!
“Have you started that other project with Brazelton yet?” Howard and I were eating dinner a bit later than everyone else one evening. I had come home around seven after a particularly long meeting at the CDU. Howard arrived even later, delayed by a weepy client who was about to lose her apartment.
“That’s why I’m late tonight. We spent all afternoon setting up, and then trying out the video taping system.”
Dr. Brazelton had been studying mother-baby interactions in the first few months after birth, trying to understand in minute detail the nature of their communication. A few weeks ago, at a meeting for his study into mother/baby reciprocity, he noted introduced the basic idea. “Babies can’t talk, but they have many ways to make themselves understood,” he explained. “Most new moms seem to be hard-wired to pay attention, and then adopt their own non-verbal responses.”
Ed added, “We are getting close to understanding the elements of this language. But we need to get down to a much finer layer of detail to fully describe it.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ve been talking with some guys who are A-V specialists. They say, with computers now, we could video tape the baby and the mom simultaneously, then lay the images side-by-side in sync, slow them down to 1/7th speed – super slo-mo…”
Dr. Brazelton mused, “Then someone could look at what both are doing in reaction to the other, and record it all?”
“Right, and you and I could review those transcripts, see what conclusions might jump out!”
I explained all this to Howard, finishing with, “So Lauren and I are going to be looking at these tapes. It’s three minutes of interaction, but at 1/7th speed, that might take an hour just to view. Then go over it again and again, to make sure we’ve got everything that happens, second-by-second, between mom and baby.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I learned all about examining newborns for the drug study we’re in the middle of, and now I get to spend even more time with them.” I paused, wondering how Howard might react to what I said next. “This all reinforces what I’ve felt for years now, about babies, and being a mom.”
Howard munched on the deli sandwich he’d brought home, turkey, cranberry sauce and cream cheese on an onion bagel. “Mumpf?” was all I heard.
“What?”
He cleaned his lips with a napkin. “I said, ‘Mother’. That’s what I see in you when you talk about this. I thought you were all into the research, the science part of this, but what you really seem to enjoy is being around babies, and seeing how the mothers react to them.”
“It does pull at my heart somehow, I can feel it clouding my head when I should be paying attention to the study. Makes me wonder, am I hard-wired to be a mom?”
“Isn’t that part of the deal with being a woman? I mean, I don’t know, I certainly don’t feel the same instinctive draw towards babies, but it seems hard to say that we, men and women, are exactly the same here.”
“They’re always saying, ‘You can have it all.’ Can I get a Ph.D, become a psychologist, and at the same time have a family, have a baby or babies, love them, raise them with a father?”
Howard put down the remaining quarter of his sandwich. Pensively, he said, “Me, I want to travel first. Not just like that trip we took last summer. I mean really go somewhere, stay there, learn all about it. A family, that’s something I’d like, too, but I’ve got things to do before I get tied down, you know what I mean?”
I gathered up our plates, Howard barely snatched his sandwich in time, and took them to the kitchen, where I slowly filled the sink with soapy water. Washing, rinsing, drying and putting them away gave me time to think. I wondered why Lauren and I were the ones chosen to examine the newborns, review the tapes, interact with the moms, while Ed and Barry did the analysis, drew the conclusions, and presented the results at conferences. Intellectually, I understood they were older, more experienced, and, yes, they had worked to get the grant money. They had the titles, Doctor, Director. Still, was it because we were the women, because, as Howard said, that’s “part of the deal”?
Howard came up from behind, spreading both arms around my waist, giving me a squeeze as he softly murmured “I love you” in my ear. I took off my apron, folded it across a chair, clasping his hands between us as I turned around.
“And…?” he questioned.
“Howard, not now. I’m tired from all that planning today.” Then, a burst of honesty. “It doesn’t seem sincere, if I always say it back to you, just because you do. It ought to come unasked, I think.”
Howard seemed unfazed at first, but as I pulled away, he said, “Oh, I forgot. You got a letter from your boyfriend – excuse me, ex-boyfriend…”
I sighed. Nothing for months on end from Mike, and then he shows up in the clutter spread out amongst Howard’s keys and money on the entry table, right when I’m feeling a little miffed with Howard.
Mike was uncharacteristically terse, almost whiny, as he related the inevitable break-up between him and Elizabeth. I could have told him that wouldn’t last; neither one of them had love for the other, only their youthful carnal need. And that only goes so far.
But the bigger news was carried near the end: “…My first clinical rotation convinced me, I’m not going to be a shrink. Ob! First night on call, I delivered a baby! LA County Hospital is unbelievably busy, four women to a room, all laboring, then going to delivery. I know what I’m going to do now…”
“Have you started that other project with Brazelton yet?” Howard and I were eating dinner a bit later than everyone else one evening. I had come home around seven after a particularly long meeting at the CDU. Howard arrived even later, delayed by a weepy client who was about to lose her apartment.
“That’s why I’m late tonight. We spent all afternoon setting up, and then trying out the video taping system.”
Dr. Brazelton had been studying mother-baby interactions in the first few months after birth, trying to understand in minute detail the nature of their communication. A few weeks ago, at a meeting for his study into mother/baby reciprocity, he noted introduced the basic idea. “Babies can’t talk, but they have many ways to make themselves understood,” he explained. “Most new moms seem to be hard-wired to pay attention, and then adopt their own non-verbal responses.”
Ed added, “We are getting close to understanding the elements of this language. But we need to get down to a much finer layer of detail to fully describe it.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ve been talking with some guys who are A-V specialists. They say, with computers now, we could video tape the baby and the mom simultaneously, then lay the images side-by-side in sync, slow them down to 1/7th speed – super slo-mo…”
Dr. Brazelton mused, “Then someone could look at what both are doing in reaction to the other, and record it all?”
“Right, and you and I could review those transcripts, see what conclusions might jump out!”
I explained all this to Howard, finishing with, “So Lauren and I are going to be looking at these tapes. It’s three minutes of interaction, but at 1/7th speed, that might take an hour just to view. Then go over it again and again, to make sure we’ve got everything that happens, second-by-second, between mom and baby.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I learned all about examining newborns for the drug study we’re in the middle of, and now I get to spend even more time with them.” I paused, wondering how Howard might react to what I said next. “This all reinforces what I’ve felt for years now, about babies, and being a mom.”
Howard munched on the deli sandwich he’d brought home, turkey, cranberry sauce and cream cheese on an onion bagel. “Mumpf?” was all I heard.
“What?”
He cleaned his lips with a napkin. “I said, ‘Mother’. That’s what I see in you when you talk about this. I thought you were all into the research, the science part of this, but what you really seem to enjoy is being around babies, and seeing how the mothers react to them.”
“It does pull at my heart somehow, I can feel it clouding my head when I should be paying attention to the study. Makes me wonder, am I hard-wired to be a mom?”
“Isn’t that part of the deal with being a woman? I mean, I don’t know, I certainly don’t feel the same instinctive draw towards babies, but it seems hard to say that we, men and women, are exactly the same here.”
“They’re always saying, ‘You can have it all.’ Can I get a Ph.D, become a psychologist, and at the same time have a family, have a baby or babies, love them, raise them with a father?”
Howard put down the remaining quarter of his sandwich. Pensively, he said, “Me, I want to travel first. Not just like that trip we took last summer. I mean really go somewhere, stay there, learn all about it. A family, that’s something I’d like, too, but I’ve got things to do before I get tied down, you know what I mean?”
I gathered up our plates, Howard barely snatched his sandwich in time, and took them to the kitchen, where I slowly filled the sink with soapy water. Washing, rinsing, drying and putting them away gave me time to think. I wondered why Lauren and I were the ones chosen to examine the newborns, review the tapes, interact with the moms, while Ed and Barry did the analysis, drew the conclusions, and presented the results at conferences. Intellectually, I understood they were older, more experienced, and, yes, they had worked to get the grant money. They had the titles, Doctor, Director. Still, was it because we were the women, because, as Howard said, that’s “part of the deal”?
Howard came up from behind, spreading both arms around my waist, giving me a squeeze as he softly murmured “I love you” in my ear. I took off my apron, folded it across a chair, clasping his hands between us as I turned around.
“And…?” he questioned.
“Howard, not now. I’m tired from all that planning today.” Then, a burst of honesty. “It doesn’t seem sincere, if I always say it back to you, just because you do. It ought to come unasked, I think.”
Howard seemed unfazed at first, but as I pulled away, he said, “Oh, I forgot. You got a letter from your boyfriend – excuse me, ex-boyfriend…”
I sighed. Nothing for months on end from Mike, and then he shows up in the clutter spread out amongst Howard’s keys and money on the entry table, right when I’m feeling a little miffed with Howard.
Mike was uncharacteristically terse, almost whiny, as he related the inevitable break-up between him and Elizabeth. I could have told him that wouldn’t last; neither one of them had love for the other, only their youthful carnal need. And that only goes so far.
But the bigger news was carried near the end: “…My first clinical rotation convinced me, I’m not going to be a shrink. Ob! First night on call, I delivered a baby! LA County Hospital is unbelievably busy, four women to a room, all laboring, then going to delivery. I know what I’m going to do now…”
“Have you started that other project with Brazelton yet?” Howard and I were eating dinner a bit later than everyone else one evening. I had come home around seven after a particularly long meeting at the CDU. Howard arrived even later, delayed by a weepy client who was about to lose her apartment.
“That’s why I’m late tonight. We spent all afternoon setting up, and then trying out the video taping system.”
Dr. Brazelton had been studying mother-baby interactions in the first few months after birth, trying to understand in minute detail the nature of their communication. A few weeks ago, at a meeting for his study into mother/baby reciprocity, he noted introduced the basic idea. “Babies can’t talk, but they have many ways to make themselves understood,” he explained. “Most new moms seem to be hard-wired to pay attention, and then adopt their own non-verbal responses.”
Ed added, “We are getting close to understanding the elements of this language. But we need to get down to a much finer layer of detail to fully describe it.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ve been talking with some guys who are A-V specialists. They say, with computers now, we could video tape the baby and the mom simultaneously, then lay the images side-by-side in sync, slow them down to 1/7th speed – super slo-mo…”
Dr. Brazelton mused, “Then someone could look at what both are doing in reaction to the other, and record it all?”
“Right, and you and I could review those transcripts, see what conclusions might jump out!”
I explained all this to Howard, finishing with, “So Lauren and I are going to be looking at these tapes. It’s three minutes of interaction, but at 1/7th speed, that might take an hour just to view. Then go over it again and again, to make sure we’ve got everything that happens, second-by-second, between mom and baby.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I learned all about examining newborns for the drug study we’re in the middle of, and now I get to spend even more time with them.” I paused, wondering how Howard might react to what I said next. “This all reinforces what I’ve felt for years now, about babies, and being a mom.”
Howard munched on the deli sandwich he’d brought home, turkey, cranberry sauce and cream cheese on an onion bagel. “Mumpf?” was all I heard.
“What?”
He cleaned his lips with a napkin. “I said, ‘Mother’. That’s what I see in you when you talk about this. I thought you were all into the research, the science part of this, but what you really seem to enjoy is being around babies, and seeing how the mothers react to them.”
“It does pull at my heart somehow, I can feel it clouding my head when I should be paying attention to the study. Makes me wonder, am I hard-wired to be a mom?”
“Isn’t that part of the deal with being a woman? I mean, I don’t know, I certainly don’t feel the same instinctive draw towards babies, but it seems hard to say that we, men and women, are exactly the same here.”
“They’re always saying, ‘You can have it all.’ Can I get a Ph.D, become a psychologist, and at the same time have a family, have a baby or babies, love them, raise them with a father?”
Howard put down the remaining quarter of his sandwich. Pensively, he said, “Me, I want to travel first. Not just like that trip we took last summer. I mean really go somewhere, stay there, learn all about it. A family, that’s something I’d like, too, but I’ve got things to do before I get tied down, you know what I mean?”
I gathered up our plates, Howard barely snatched his sandwich in time, and took them to the kitchen, where I slowly filled the sink with soapy water. Washing, rinsing, drying and putting them away gave me time to think. I wondered why Lauren and I were the ones chosen to examine the newborns, review the tapes, interact with the moms, while Ed and Barry did the analysis, drew the conclusions, and presented the results at conferences. Intellectually, I understood they were older, more experienced, and, yes, they had worked to get the grant money. They had the titles, Doctor, Director. Still, was it because we were the women, because, as Howard said, that’s “part of the deal”?
Howard came up from behind, spreading both arms around my waist, giving me a squeeze as he softly murmured “I love you” in my ear. I took off my apron, folded it across a chair, clasping his hands between us as I turned around.
“And…?” he questioned.
“Howard, not now. I’m tired from all that planning today.” Then, a burst of honesty. “It doesn’t seem sincere, if I always say it back to you, just because you do. It ought to come unasked, I think.”
Howard seemed unfazed at first, but as I pulled away, he said, “Oh, I forgot. You got a letter from your boyfriend – excuse me, ex-boyfriend…”
I sighed. Nothing for months on end from Mike, and then he shows up in the clutter spread out amongst Howard’s keys and money on the entry table, right when I’m feeling a little miffed with Howard.
Mike was uncharacteristically terse, almost whiny, as he related the inevitable break-up between him and Elizabeth. I could have told him that wouldn’t last; neither one of them had love for the other, only their youthful carnal need. And that only goes so far.
But the bigger news was carried near the end: “…My first clinical rotation convinced me, I’m not going to be a shrink. Ob! First night on call, I delivered a baby! LA County Hospital is unbelievably busy, four women to a room, all laboring, then going to delivery. I know what I’m going to do now…”
********